Today I have neither learned owt or done anything worthy of reportage. So instead I'll give you an article entitled "Things I learnt when I was 15". Enjoy.
1. In the Philippines people don't wash, instead they pour sweat into a large beaker, which is then mixed with acid, rain water and 7-up. It is then applied to the skin using a moist chamois leather.
2. Jesus Christ's first words were 'balsa wood', after he heard Joseph Christ barking out orders to his workers.
3. In 1346 after a heavy night, several tall men were mistaken for trees and chopped down. Nobody noticed until a man bought some firewood. On returning home he proclaimed "I couldn't believe it! I had firelighters, matches, the lot! Then I opened the wood and all this red stuff fell out. I thought nothing of it until a week later when the police kicked the door in! I've never laughed so much!"
4. In Australia, a box of broken glass is considered to be a lucky and somewhat brilliant gift.
5. Before sex was invented, people would pass the time of day by throwing stones, eating cat litter and running into each other. The latter would become the popular sport Rugby.
6. For a month in the summer of 1836, men had vaginas and women had penises. Some historians believe this period to be called "Fanny Cock Swap".
7. The chair was invented by a woman. Her name is unknown, but some people think she was called Sue.
8. In 1997 a bomb killed 18 men.
9. The inventor of denim, Albert Levi, never wore trousers. He instead preferred skirts, or on special occasions, shorts.
10. In 1065, fisherman Bobby Rascal made plans to raid his local McDonalds. The plan was thwarted by government officials after an anonymous tip-off. Rascal later died, but his widow, Anthony said "Bob would never do that." His name was cleared, and in some countries you can order the McRascal Sandwich in homage to the great man.
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