1. Barbecue Sauce. An absolute classic as far as i'm concerned, it goes with absolutely everything. Even porridge.
2. Mayonnaise. Lovely stuff. Again I could eat it with most things, especially chips.
3. Reggae Reggae sauce. Good effort from old Levi Roots (if that is his real name, I'm not convinced) but more of an acquired taste. Some say it tastes like spicy HP Brown sauce. I tend to agree with them.
4. Chilli Sauce. Essential on any kebab. Although I had some once and it literally blew my fucking head off. And I shat for days.
5. Raita. Lovely on curry. Actually, i'd say that's all you can have it with. I tried it on a Sunday Roast once. Mother went ape shit.
6. Tomato Ketchup. Old Tommy K is a good friend, in my youth I would eat it in what i'd call a "Tomato Sauce Sandwich". Yep that's it. Sauce and bread. Ace. I once heard someone refer to it as 'Red Sauce'. I knocked him to the ground and refused to let him breathe until he apologised. Still makes me angry now.
7. Curry Sauce. A controversial one, as I've never actually seen it bottled. But it is nice with chips. The end.
The Shit List
1. Brown Sauce. I used to be partial to the stuff, especially on bacon sandwiches. But i've since found Tommy K is just as good, if not better. This means Brown Sauce has been relegated to the Nig-Nog League.
P.S thats not a racial slur, they used to call it that.
2. Curry Sauce with Sultanas. Fucking disgusting. If i wanted fruit in it I'd ask for it, don't apologise, just don't do it again.
3. Salad Cream. Essentially, a poor mans mayonaise. I heard that in 1612, a man asked for mayonnaise on his burger. He was informed they had sold out. He showed his disappointment using the form of dance and was then told they would find a suitable replacement. He agreed this was a fair compromise and would not burn the burger stand to the ground, as was promised. Using a mixture of spit, old fruit, cream and anger she created Salad Cream. The end.
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