Unaware Adam.

This is a short story about Adam Vinesforlegs Shitfuckwankdick.
People often take the michael out of Adam behind his scrawny, spotty, silver back. The main focus of the jokes are based around the fact that Adam is well known around his home town of Wookey Hole Caves, a small town outside of Somerset, for being very unaware of the repercussions of his own actions and the actions of others around him.
For example Adam decided to take his also very unaware dog, Jeremy Batandball, to the park. Ironically but equally as truthfully the park is called 'Youneedtobeawaretocomeinhere Park', which as you can only imagine posed a few potential threats for Adam & Jeremy. As the brutal and dramatic story unfolds i would like you to picture Adam and Jeremy walking carelessly through the gates of 'Youneedtobeawaretocomeinhere Park' thinking nothing of it.
What happens next is said to be the second most disturbing thing to ever happen in Wookey Hole Caves, after the time the notorious bank robbers of 1868 broke into the bakery and stole self expanding flour, only to get it wet during their exit and become stuck to the floor of the bashed in bakery leaving the police with easy arrests.
Back to Adam and Jeremy…Whilst feeding the ducks and allowing Jeremy his '3 and a half minutes off your lead' time, there was a chain of events consisting of rare eagles that carry around large branches-dropping them whenever the wind becomes stronger than 8mph, an old lady practising for her mobility frame sprint race, a horse named Sam jumping into a bush which startled a platypus called Billy who then without thinking headed for safety in the form of the lake that Adam was stood over feeding the ducks. As you probably know when platypus' run for cover or safety they do so using only their distinctly average sense of smell, which catastrophically lead to Billy the platypus ploughing into the back of Adam who was very unaware of the aforementioned antics.

Adam broke both his ankles and never walked again, how unaware of Adam.
Jeremy survived.
The large eagles dropped all of their branches but are all safely wrapped in large foil blankets and being treated at the local RSPB.
The old lady won her mobility frame sprint race and became so famous she opened Wookey Hole Caves's new library with a pair of over-sized scissors.
Sam the horse now lives in the bush.
Billy the platypus was found hanging from a tree in 'Youneedtobeawaretocomeinhere Park', after he was rumoured to have said 'i can't handle this amount of guilt, i need a whiskey, has anybody got any whiskey? IM FUCKED!'

For now…Richard