Morning,
here are ten things I have learnt in the last five minutes. All numbered correctly, boots polished, hair combed and ready for inspection.
1. Colonel Lionel Gaddafi was the founder of the beatnik poetry society 'The JimJams'.
2. In Spain, children are often abused.
3. Murderers can be found in Ireland, India and at the end of your road.
4. Chocolate is the national colour of Africa.
5. In 1992 a plantpot arrived at Buckingham palace claiming to be the Russian princess Anastasia. The claims were shot down in flames,with a spokesperson for the royal family saying "the plantpot had no right to be saying these things. It is hurtful and disrespectful. I don't know what he was aiming to achieve saying these things."
6. Croatian women are often confused for dogs, whilst some Portuguese men aren't.
7. Guy Fawkes was a picnic enthusiast, often consuming over four pork pies and scotch eggs per annum.
8. In 1999 a man was taken ill after eating mayonaise. It was later discovered he had eaten duck shit.
9.
10. Diarrhoea is often used as a substitute for gravy in some Yorkshire hotspots.
Sorry about that.
Love Always,
Dirk P Slazenger
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