The Story of a Man Who Did This Thing Once

A man with skin colour and texture that resembled the leather on the shoe of your local smelly tramp was staggering to the end of his road to collect not his morning paper, but his morning 5th of whiskey.

Each step contain enough effort to move a mountain, as a result draining his flimsy body of all its worth! 

On his return leg having collected the baton from the small asian man on the corner, he bumped into an old acquaintance from school, they began chatting and he invited him back to his house for a drink & a smoke. The old friend obliged and off they went reliving their glory days.

The moral of the story being; keep friends and drink as much as you can, and when the opportunity to clobber both of their beautiful heads at once arises, never let the chance pass. Grasp it firmly as you would do Pamela Andersons breasts (providing she had given you permission, which if you ask nicely I've heard she does).

For now…Richard